Giving Permission to Another
Years ago, when Audrey was just seven months old, we attended the first birthday party of a close friend’s child. I remember watching Audrey intently watching the little girl next to her, almost her exact same size, who was sitting up during the read aloud. Audrey was so focused on her - she seemed to be both admiring and studying her. The very next day, Audrey sat up for the first time herself. She had seen us sitting a thousand times, but she was empowered watching someone she could relate to in a different way do something that prior to that day had not been possible for her. This little girl’s ability encouraged and inspired Audrey and it was both fascinating and precious to watch.
Almost three years later, this past Saturday, a little boy - almost exactly Paul’s size - was motoring around the farmer’s market on all fours. I truly have never seen a baby crawl so fast! Paul was awestruck. He stared intently at this little boy traverse the mulch around the picnic tables fearlessly and everywhere he went, Paul’s head turned. For a moment I was taken back to the time when Audrey was Paul’s same age and watching the little girl at the birthday party with the same intent focus, and I knew that very soon Paul would be on his way too.
Sure enough, this morning (two days after attending the farmer’s market) Paul worked and worked to move toward this little wooden green bowl that had rolled far out of his reach. I stopped what I was doing and watched his determination as he mustered up the strength and coordination to use both his hands and his legs to propel himself forward. He did it! He reached the bowl and no sooner had he reached it and played with it for just a moment, it rolled again and he began again with the same grit. The little boy on Saturday showed Paul what was possible. Watching someone his size do what, for weeks, had felt so frustrating and out of reach for him was the encouragement and motivation he needed to move forward.
What if we could live this way? Knowing that our strength and courage inspires others and shows them what is possible. And that our example can be real, humane, liberating to others, Christ-like and full of love.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do.We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Marianne Williamson